I sat there for a solid 8 hours. I didn't eat, drink, pee - nothing! I just sat in front of the TV, curled up in a blanket. This wasn't a one day thing. It kept happening for days. At first, I just thought I was being lazy. Well, extraordinarily lazy. And then the crying started. And then all hell broke loose.
I was crying while brushing my teeth. I was crying in the shower. I was crying after taking a shower. I was crying because I didn't know why I was crying. The more I tried to stop it, the more I was crying. I was not just crying. I was wailing out loud in pain.You would think that I must be going through a very difficult period in my life. Health issues, money problems, lack of love, job complications...but no, I didn't have any of those. In fact, I was in the happiest era of my life. I was newly married, had a loving husband, a home, and everything you need to have a good life. Then why was I crying?
I was crying because I was going through "Depression.' I know that the first thought that will come to your mind is - "What were you depressed about. You got everything one could ask for!" Let's start with breaking the very first myth about depression. Depression is not the same as being sad. Depression happens due to a chemical imbalance in your brain, over which you have no control.
This wasn't happening in my life for the first time. I remember I often used to cry inconsolably ever since I was a kid. My parents didn't know about it. I didn't know understand it! Thankfully, my husband knew about it. He knew about it because he had endured it from a very young age too. Silver linings I suppose.
It was a very long journey that I had to take before I realized that I could have dropped a ton of baggage long ago in my life. I didn't even know I had baggage. I just thought that you were meant to suffer in life. Being sad is the natural state to be in. Depression had been weighing me down ever since I was as young as 8 years old.
I want to take you on a journey. I want you to know this because there is a chance that you too are carrying extra baggage for nothing. I want to heal from all the years of pain. I want us to collectively send out a prayer for everyone who is suffering in silence because they don't know that they can be happy instead.
